Running at the Mouth

Former Indians Make Good

One of the pleasures of being semi-retired is that I've been able to enjoy the MLB playoffs.  It's not so much that I have a team that I'm rooting for, but I enjoy rooting against the Yankees and the Mets.  I've also been enjoying Bill Simmons's running diaries of the first four games.  Simmons repeatedly mentions all the former Red Sox involved in the playoffs, which got me noticing all of the former Cleveland Indians involved in the playoffs.  As near as I can tell, here is a list of all the former members of the Tribe whose current teams are still active in the postseason:

NY Mets:  Ricky Ledee, Julio Franco

LA Dodgers:  Kenny Lofton, Grady Little, Jeff Kent, Sandy Alomar (!), Einar Diaz, Guillermo Mota

SD Padres:  Dave Roberts, Brian Giles, Josh Bard, Russell Branyan (God, that guy was terrible with Cleveland), Alan Embree, Rudy Seanez

St. Louis Cardinals:  Ronnie Belliard, Jose Vizcaino, Ricardo Rincon

Detroit Tigers: Sean Casey, Chad Durbin

Minnesota Twins:  None, but the Twins lineup does feature Rondell White and Ruben Sierra, who have played for 12 different teams between them (16 teams total, but both have played for  Detroit, Minnesota, NYY and Oakland).  So that's something.

NY Yankees:  Jaret Wright, Ron Villone (not much Indians free-agent talent for the Yankees to overpay for, evidently)

Oakland A's:  Milton Bradley, Scott Sauerbeck, Steve Karsay.

That's 24 guys who, at one time or another, wore Chief Wahoo in the majors.  With the exception of Brian Giles and Milton Bradley, there's not a single guy on that list who I was sorry to see go.  Cleveland had Kenny Lofton, Jaret Wright, Steve Karsay and Sandy Alomar when they were good.

"A Devastating Loss"

Northwestern University head football coach Randy Walker passed away last night of an apparent heart attack.  He was 52 years old.

Coach Walker was a Miami University alumnus, fullback, head coach, and the only man I've ever met with calves bigger than my dad's.  I took Football Theory from Coach Walker and his staff, and the class was not nearly as easy as it sounds.  It was about a lot more than X's and O's; what it was really about was coaching theory and how to relate to athletes, especially high school and college kids.  The thing that sticks out most in my mind is that Coach Walker taught us that the measure of a coach is not wins and losses, but whether s/he leaves the program better than s/he found it. 

I think Walker succeeded in that regard.  At NW, Walker was the first coach to lead the Wildcats to four straight seasons of 6 wins or more since the turn of the 20th century.  They won a share of the Big 10 title and went to three bowl games.  At Miami, Walker won games at a .621 clip, which was the best in school history when he left.

Good thoughts to Coach Walker's wife and children.  May he rest in peace.

UPDATE:  Courtesy of commenter Devilgrad of EDSBS, a nice piece at MiamiHawkTalk.com.  Also don't miss this terrific Coach Walker anecdote from a KSU grad.  The man had onions.

Knock Me Over With a Feather

Back in August, the French tabloid L'Equipe accused Lance Armstrong of EPO use during his 1999 Tour de France victory.  It was bullshit then, and we all knew it.  Today, Lance was fully exonerated by an independent investigator.  Even sweeter, WADA (led by fire-breathing, witch-hunting, unfortunately-named Dick Pound) and the French were found to have had it out for the seven-time champion.

Notice also, that it isn't as though Armstrong is cleared for "technical" reasons or harmless errors; he is "exonerated completely with respect to the alleged use" of EPO.

UPDATE (June 1, 2006) -- The NYT, believe it or not, has a pretty thorough piece explaining the situation.  Again, note that the chief investigator found that the testing procedures were so fundamentally flawed (as I, a non-science guy, noted in the post linked above) that a positive result could not possibly be credible.

The fact is, the French and Dick Pound have all of the motivation to smear Lance.  On the one hand, you have the Dutch investigator, who was for 10 years the head of the Dutch anti-doping agency.  On the other, you have Dick Pound and WADA, which -- despite some obvious failures -- have always insisted that the EPO test is a valid means of detecting synthetic EPO and have been using it for years to condemn athletes.  You tell me which side has a dog in this fight.

Albert Belle is Nice. And Trim!

It's nice to know that Albert Belle hasn't changed since leaving baseball:

Albert Belle was arrested on a new stalking charge for allegedly making phone calls to a woman he already was charged with harassing.

I'm pleased that ESPN chose to run a photo of Albert in an Orioles cap.  Here's his mugshot; I think it's fair to say that Albert has let himself go a little bit:

If the camera adds 10 pounds, how many cameras are on him?

Shocka! Ill-Conceived, Overpriced Mobile ESPN Hemorrhaging Money

ESPN has lost $25 million so far on its laughably overpriced, astonishingly useless and pain-in-the-ass-to-get Mobile ESPN, reports Sports Business Daily.  Thinking about it, what's surprising is not that no one is buying the product, but that ESPN spent $30 million on those monumentally stupid commercials with the greasy-haired sportsdork loitering outside of ESPN headquarters.  What keen advertiser hatched this campaign, anyway?  Who thought it would be a good idea to portray the people who want this product as unwashed, jobless, fast-food-physique-having, couldn't-pick-a-vagina-out-of-a-police-lineup douchenozzles?

I'm just not sure what niche ESPN is trying to fill.  As one of the Deadspin commenters pointed out, how many people have no access whatsoever to sports news for more than a few minutes a day, such that sports to your phone becomes a necessity?  Degenerate gamblers, maybe?

I have to stop now.  I've reached my rhetorical question quota for the post.

There Was a Good Reason George Burns Loved Altoona

Because people in Altoona can be pretty frickin' funny:  Altoona Curve to Hold Frivolous Lawsuit Night.  [Link via Deadspin.]

This is, of course, in response to the dickbag out in L.A. who is suing the Angels because he -- he! -- didn't get a free pink tote bag during the Angels' Mother's Day promotion at the park.  [Link via Bud Norton.]

Confidence

The White Sox may have knocked Cleveland out of the playoffs last year, and they may be the reigning World Champs, but last year was last year.  This year, the Tribe owns the head-to-head record so far this season after grabbing those bastard White Sox and pounding them into little, pathetic shards at the New Comiskey.  The Indians saw the White Sox coming, and they were all like, "Hey, what's up, bitch?"  And the Sox were all "Not much, sir."  And the Indians were all "That's right, bitch!  Now go make me a sandwich!" 

This season, they have that confidence.

Compare and Contrast

Raeshon Powers-Neal, 22 years old and fifth-year senior starting fullback for the University of Notre Dame, is cited for DUI on October 8, 2005.  He is suspended by the University for the rest of his final season, including the Fiesta Bowl.

Alex Boone, 18 years old and freshman starting tackle for Cheatypants McSweatervest's O$U Buckeyes, is cited for DUI on April 2, 2006.  Boone will not miss any practices or any games.  [Link via Everyday Should Be Saturday.]

Goodbye, Smokey

Make no mistake, I hate the Tennessee Volunteers.  Most right-thinking people do.  But I am still sad to hear of the passing of Smokey VIII, UT's bluetick coonhound mascot, due to kidney disease.  Smokey was 11 years old.

"If there ain't no squirrels to chase in Heaven, then I'll see you in Hell!"

Fire Mike Brey Now

Bringing its conference record to a sterling 1-5, Notre Dame lost last night to Georgetown in double OT.  As things stand, ND is in jeopardy not of missing the NCAA Tournament, not even of missing the NIT, but of missing its own conference tournament.  This is inexcusable, and it's all at the feet of Mike Brey.

The fact of the matter is that Mike Brey has failed to develop a single player in his 5+ years at Notre Dame.  Chris Thomas actually got worse between his freshman and senior years.  Torin Francis was the national high school player of the year, and Mike Brey still hasn't taught him how to execute a single post move.  On the recruiting trail, Brey is enamored with soft, perimeter-shooting small forwards who can't create their own shots.  ND can't win a close game because Brey's playing checkers while the opposing coach is playing chess.  The next time we run an actual play on offense will be the first, and I can't even tell what Brey is coaching on defense. 

The bottom line is that we've gone from a Sweet 16 team to a team that lost to Holy Cross on our own floor in the first round of the NIT.  I threw up in my mouth just typing that.

In the '70's and to a lesser extent the '80's, Notre Dame was a top basketball program.  We can be again.  The administration rightly fired Tyrone Willingham because his teams regressed under his leadership and he was thoroughly and consistently outcoached during games and outrecruited during the winter, spring and summer.  The administration should, indeed must, hold Mike Brey to the same standard.