ESPN has lost $25 million so far on its laughably overpriced, astonishingly useless and pain-in-the-ass-to-get Mobile ESPN, reports Sports Business Daily. Thinking about it, what's surprising is not that no one is buying the product, but that ESPN spent $30 million on those monumentally stupid commercials with the greasy-haired sportsdork loitering outside of ESPN headquarters. What keen advertiser hatched this campaign, anyway? Who thought it would be a good idea to portray the people who want this product as unwashed, jobless, fast-food-physique-having, couldn't-pick-a-vagina-out-of-a-police-lineup douchenozzles?
I'm just not sure what niche ESPN is trying to fill. As one of the Deadspin commenters pointed out, how many people have no access whatsoever to sports news for more than a few minutes a day, such that sports to your phone becomes a necessity? Degenerate gamblers, maybe?
I have to stop now. I've reached my rhetorical question quota for the post.