I've often looked back at the high school me and wondered why I listened to so much classic rock, especially Led Zeppelin and The Doors (besides the fact that both bands kick f*ckin' ass), instead of the music of the time. Well, now I know; check out the Mouth Everest of Suck that was the Top 100 Hits of 1993. Honestly, the amount of shitshingles on this list is staggering. Keeping with the rules of this old meme, I've bolded the songs I like, struck through the ones I hate and underlined my favorite. I've done nothing to the ones I don't remember (or don't care about):
I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston
Whoomp! (There It Is), Tag Team
Can't Help Falling In Love, UB40
That's The Way Love Goes, Janet Jackson
5. Freak, Silk
6. Weak, SWV
If I Ever Fall In Love, Shai
Dreamlover, Mariah Carey
9. Rump Shaker, Wreckx-N-Effect -- Shut up. It's catchy.
11. Nuthin' But A "G" Thang, Dr. Dre -- Quick aside here: the only reason I like this song is because there is a hilarious (to me, anyway) moment associated with it. When I was a senior, me, the girl I was dating at the time, and my buddies Scott and Mike would go into the media room in the library during lunch and watch TV -- it had cable. So, one day we're watching MTV. You remember this video, right? So the video's on, and a substitute librarian comes in to tell us we shouldn't be in there. Mike goes, "Don't worry. It's nuthin' but a G thang. See?" She looks at the TV, looks at us, and mutters, "Perverts." Then she walks out. We're laughing so hard we're crying, and my girlfriend says, "You guys are going to get in trouble!" And Mike says, "For what? Being a pervert?" Guess you had to be there.
In The Still Of The Nite, Boyz II Men
Don't Walk Away, Jade
Knockin' Da Boots, H-Town
16. Dazzey Duks, Duice -- Shut up, it's catchy. 'Course, so's hepatits.
17. Show Me Love, Robin S.
A Whole New World, Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle
If, Janet Jackson
20. I'm So Into You, SWV
Love Is, Vanessa Willlams and Brian Mcknight
Runaway Train, Soul Asylum -- complaint rock. Ugh.
I'll Never Get Over You (Getting Over Me), Expose
24. Ditty, Paperboy
25. Rhythm Is A Dancer, Snap
The River Of Dreams, Billy Joel
27. I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles), Proclaimers
28. Two Princes, Spin Doctors
29. Right Here (Human Nature)-Downtown, SWV
I Have Nothing, Whitney Houston
31. Mr. Wendal, Arrested Development
Have I Told You Lately, Rod Stewart
33. Saving Forever For You, Shanice
34. Ordinary World, Duran Duran
If I Had No Loot, Tony! Toni! Tone!
I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That), Meat Loaf
37. Slam, Onyx
Looking Through Patient Eyes, P.M. Dawn
I'm Every Woman, Whitney Houston
Baby I'm Yours, Shai
41. Come Undone, Duran Duran
I Don't Wanna Fight, Tina Turner
I'd Die Without You, P.M. Dawn
44. Whoot, There It Is, 95 South
Hip Hop Hooray, Naughty By Nature
Another Sad Love Song, Toni Braxton
Will You Be There, Michael Jackson
48. Comforter, Shil
Good Enough, Bobby Brown
50. What's Up, 4 Non Blondes
All That She Wants, Ace Of Base
52. 7, Prince and The New Power Generation -- This was a guaranteed spin every single night I went out during law school. I never went out in high school or college, which is probably why it was four years before I heard it.
53. Dre Day, Dr. Dre
One Last Cry, Brian McKnight
Just Kickin' It, Xscape
I Get Around, 2Pac
Bed Of Roses, Bon Jovi
Real Love, Mary J. Blige
59. Here We Go Again!, Portrait
60. Cryin', Aerosmith -- I liked it then. Now I think it's sentimental crappy pap.
61. Cats In The Cradle, Ugly Kid Joe
62. What About Your Friends, TLC
I Got A Man, Positive K
64. Hey Mr. D.J., Zhane
65. Insane In The Brain, Cypress Hill
Deeper And Deeper, Madonna
The Right Kind Of Love, Jeremy Jordan -- This guy's fifteen minutes came as a result of getting his video played at the end of a few episodes of 90210. As for why I know that? I am who I am. Screw you for judging me!
69. Bad Boys, Inner Circle
70. That's What Love Can Do, Boy Krazy
Do You Believe In Us, Jon Secada
Angel, Jon Secada
Forever In Love, Kenny G
Again, Janet Jackson
Boom! Shake The Room, DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince
76. When She Cries, Restless Heart
77. Sweat (A La La La La Long), Inner Circle
78. It Was A Good Day, Ice Cube
79. More And More, Captain Hollywood Project
How Do You Talk To An Angel, Heights
81. Rebirth Of Slick (Cool Like Dat), Digable Planets
82. What Is Love, Haddaway
To Love Somebody, Michael Bolton
Give It Up, Turn It Loose, En Vogue
Alright, Kris Kross
86. Check Yo Self, Ice Cube
87. Fields Of Gold, Sting
Ooh Child, Dino 89. Faithful w/ Go West
Reason To Believe, Rod Stewart
Break It Down Again, Tears For Fears
Nothin' My Love Can't Fix, Joey Lawrence -- Joey Effin' Lawrence. Holy shit.
93. Three Little Pigs, Green Jelly
94. Livin' On The Edge, Aerosmith
95. Hey Jealousy, Gin Blossoms
96. If I Ever Lose My Faith In You, Sting
Anniversary, Tony! Toni! Tone!
One Woman, Jade
Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Taylor Dayne
Two Steps Behind, Def Leppard
So there you go. Now, who among us could blame me for listening to Cream, Steppenwolf, Led, The Doors, The Beatles, The Stones, et al.?