Cinco a Cinco

At the suggestion of attorney/blogger/friend/Wal Mart apologist Don Burton, here is the triumphant return (and, probably, abrupt lengthy departure) of the Five at Five on 05/05/05, in honor of Cinco de Mayo.

Ignorant anglos, desperate for an excuse for gluttony, drunkenness and debauchery, have hijacked Cinco de Mayo. Well, it has been six whole weeks since St. Patrick's Day.

An invention too long in coming:  the Bumper Dumper.  [Link via BoingBoing.]  Unless you're Drew Barrymore or Cameron Diaz, for whom it might spoil the whole experience.

A fascinating, though far too brief, diary depicting the Kenyan distance running scene.  From Slate, too, of all sources.  Unsurprisingly, Kenyan dominance appears to stem from a combination of nature and nurture.

Paris Hilton:  functionally illiterate.  That's actually more embarrassing than the sex tape, seeing as how she seemed to be, you know, somewhat skilled in that context.

Finally, a purple sombrero has sold on eBay for almost $68.  Whence came the sombrero?  Why, from the stockpiles of dangerous objects confiscated by the NTSA, of course!  I know I'll feel safer every time I fly, knowing that my security won't be jeopardized by garish novelty headwear.  [Link via BoingBoing.]